Loving Yourself, First and Foremost

We all know how important it is to love ourselves just the way we are. We preach it to our children, family and friends. If a friend comes to us saying they aren’t good enough in some area, we’re the first to try and help them work through that belief. Do we show up for ourselves in the same way though?

Confession Time

As a teacher, I often speak with people who attend my classes about the importance of living in the moment and loving ourselves. I have a beautiful soul family all across the globe and an amazing son, yet I found myself feeling lonely and dejected.

Transitioning out of the military left me feeling lost, although this transition was something I had been praying for since last year. I even have a print hanging in my home with the following quote.

“ Do not feel lonely. The entire Universe is inside you.”Rumi

Even though I knew this as my truth, there was this human side of me that missed the comfortable feeling of stability and feeling part of a team. You would think that my next step would be some self-love practices or diving within to work through this...the same as I would do for a friend.

Well, I’d love to say that was the case, but I filled my time with dates and meeting up with friends. As you might have guessed, this had the opposite affect of what I truly craved, which was peace. The time came where I realized I need to be my own best friend. It was time to tap into that infinite knowledge and love within me. That’s when I decided to have a personal retreat with myself.

How would life look for you, if you treated yourself as your own best friend?

It was time to fall in love with me

I chose some daily practices to incorporate, along with some new guidelines. I set the intention to stick with the daily routine through the holidays and then reassess. The holidays have been challenging for me in the past, so that’s how I set the intention lifeline.

Loving yourself isn't conceit, it's love. Love means acceptance, kindness, encouragement, and care. With love, doubt disappears, fears fade, and there's comfort that develops which makes even being along a place of solace. You'll help to heal and inspire others just by being yourself. You'll help them to discover that it's possible for them to do, too.

My Guidelines

1. No dating. This does not include hanging out 1-on-1 with friends. Just no dating.
2. Limited alcohol. I would like to enjoy a celebratory drink on my birthday or a glass of wine on occasion. It’s all about balance, folks.
3. Meditating daily. My intention is to meditate twice daily, but daily will be a success! Yoga Nidra 3 times a week.
4. Journal and gratitude jar daily.
5. Exercise daily. My intention is to have a good solid workout 4 times a week, but to include some form of exercise or yoga daily.
6. Mindful eating. This is just me setting the intention to be aware of what I’m putting in my body. I’m not sure how this will look, but I want to really start listening to body and establishing a better routine with Isagenix and vitamins.
7. Take myself on 1 date a week.
8. Write one thank-you note a day. My intention is to write most of these by hand.
9. Focus on what makes my heart sing, instead of what makes money. This is my public declaration to launch Brand Happy by my birthday!

10. I’m committed to completing 32 Random Acts of Kindness during my birthday month.
11. I will not spend the holidays alone. I’ll volunteer on Thanksgiving, along with visiting the VA Medical Center on holidays. I’ll also reach out or accept invitations, instead of trying to ‘not be a hassle.’

What would be on your 'loving yourself' list?

There’s my list that I’m publicly declaring here. I would present for your own consideration making your own ‘Loving Yourself’ list. Let’s stop looking in the mirror and picking out the things we want to change. Where attention goes, energy flows, right? Let us be our own best friend, for when we truly love ourselves unconditionally, we can openly love others unconditionally. Along your journey of self-love, be gentle. Move from a place of judgement to witnessing. You are so worth it!

Southwest Institute of Healing Arts (www.SWIHA.edu) offers a 100-hour Transformational Life Coaching program that can be completed residentially or on-line in 3 to 6 months. The program is designed to help individuals discover their gifts and greatness, while preparing them to help other to do the same. Graduates of the Life Coaching program often start their own private coaching business, or excel in their current professional position. For more information go to BeALifeCoach.com (www.BeALifeCoach.com).